Tornado! (1996)

Now, one could say that Tornado! is just a made for tv cash in movie, trying to piggyback on the success of the box office smash Twister. And largely, you'd be correct. Tornado! (it's important to keep the exclamation point in there) came out the same year as Twister, shares several plot points with Twister, but does diverge in one key aspect. It is nowhere near as fun a movie as Twister is.

THE PLOT

Jake Thorne (interestingly misspelled without the E on the case), played by Bruce Campbell (now I should just stop there and declare the movie amazing, but I must continue) is a stormchaser living in northern Texas on a farm. Dr. Branson, played by Ernie Hudson, is a meteorologist from Missouri who has come to Texas to get Jake's help finding storms for his machine that is supposed to help detect tornadoes earlier (just like Dorothy in Twister). Samantha Callen (Shannon Sturges) is an auditor from Washington D.C. who has come to shut off the funding the government has been giving Dr. Branson for six years (despite no results).

Basically what unfolds is a bland and watered down version of Twister. Jake and Samantha kinda get to like each other. Hotshot TV meteorologist Richie (Jake's lifelong rival) tries to horn in on Samantha by showing her his shiny studio and his perfect hair. (Sounds like the Cary Elwes character in Twister). Dr. Branson's machine P.A.T.T.I. - the Portable Analyzer of Technical Tornado Information... which I deem the worst acronym EVER - needs to be placed directly in the path of a tornado, but they never quite make it... until the very last storm (sound familiar?).

Jake and his crew rely a lot on computers to try and tell them where a storm is going to hit, and throughout the movie they never quite make it. It takes the cornball wisdom of random cranky old guy (possibly Jake's dad? It's never made clear in the movie) Ephram to tell them where the storms are going to hit. Fortunately for everybody, one ends up right on their doorstep. And everyone lives happily ever after (except Ephram, but we'll get to that later).

THE DISASTERS

There are only three actual storms, and one false alarm in this movie. The first tornado is never seen on screen, and takes place before the opening credits. The second storm scene is a false alarm. The third storm is called a monster storm several times, and is the first time we ever see a tornado on the ground. I have to state right here that I understand tv movies have small budgets. But there is a difference between the look of a tornado, and an ink stain made by a leaking Sharpie... and the tornadoes in this movie look way more like the latter. If the third storm was a monster, then the fourth and final storm was Godzilla standing on top of the Cloverfield Monster. It's a massive storm that bears down right on the Thorne ranch.

So we have 3 tornadoes in just under 90 minutes. Or one every 30 minutes. There is a lot of down time in this movie.

DAMAGE REPORT

Only 3 storms, but a fair amount of damage is shown.

The first storm again, happens almost immediately as the movie starts. It's short, but it all but levels a house. The people inside are all safe, because they went to their basement in a quick manner (I'll say more on this later).

The second tornado we see at first does no damage. Unfortunately, it takes an unexpected turn, and absolutely levels the town of Roseville, Texas (which seems to have not existed since the school closed in 1950, and is on the wrong end of the state from where the movie takes place). They bring you into the town, and show a lot of the destruction caused by the storm. It's a very believable scene, although it is almost identical to the scene in Twister that takes place in Wakita, Oklahoma after that town gets leveled.

The third storm only actually flips over a truck and knocks down an old rickety barn (as far as we see). Despite being three times the size of the last one. It does, however, lead to THE ONLY DEATH IN THE MOVIE. Ephram, the weird old guy, does not believe computers can help at all in finding storms. Yet, when P.A.T.T.I.'s fourth leg (predictably) fails to deploy, leaving it unstable, it is Ephram who stays out, and drives a stake into the ground just far enough before he is whisked up into the storm (offscreen).

BIGGEST LEAP OF FAITH THE MOVIE ASKS US TO MAKE

During the final storm, the wind is enough to knock down a building, yet Dr. Branson's floppy hat stays on until Jake comes and pulls him into the storm shelter.

FINAL THOUGHTS

It's just not a good movie. There is thankfully, a lack of science in this movie. Unlike Twister which made up a bunch of stuff that isn't true... the few times anything scientific is brought up it sounds like it came straight out of a textbook. While not interesting, at least it's mostly right. Except for one glaring example. During the final storm the tornado has a completely silent core that allows everyone to stand around and talk for about a minute before running for cover. It's the most unintentionally hilarious scene in the movie. But the dialog is clunky, the relationships are barely believable, and the special effects are just flat out hideous.

I was hoping, with Bruce Campbell involved, to see at least a fun movie, but it's just lifeless. I can't really recommend Tornado! especially when compared to Twister.

Next time will likely be tomorrow. The disaster movie of all disaster movies comes out tomorrow, and I will be there with bells on (not really, that would be distracting). Tomorrow night though, I should have a review of 2012. See you later.