I was going to try and make this a spoiler-free review. Then I realized that the title of the movie pretty much gives away what's going to happen. Roland Emmerich (Independence Day / The Day After Tomorrow) has decided to bring the disaster movie of all disaster movies to the screen. Based around more goofy beliefs that a typical day of 24 hour cable newscasts... 2012 takes all of these end of the world beliefs, and combines them into an epically bad day for the Earth.
THE STORY
Basically, the Mayans were right, and a cosmic line dance (filmed almost in a 2001: A Space Odyssey-esque manner) combined with a massive amount of neutrinos from the largest solar flare... EVER are raising the core of the Earth's temperature so much, that the whole place is just going to throw it's hands in the air and give up on 12-21-12.
We get to follow failed writer, husband, and father Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) in his valiant attempt to save his family from said impending doom. Oh yeah, how did he figure out the world was going to end before most people? While camping with his kids in Yellowstone Park, a crazy AM radio jockey named Charlie (played wonderfully by Woody Harrelson) told him it would. Oh yeah, and there's that one guy from the government (played by Chewetl Ejiofor) who kind of helps Jackson connect the dots. Why? He liked Jackson's book (one of about 500 in the world), naturally.
Meanwhile, on a more global scale President Wilson (Danny Glover) and other world leaders have decided to build arks to save "the best and brightest" (I'm not going into this later, but you can imagine that great disaster cliche... basic human greed comes into play) to try and keep the human race going. Also, certain important cultural items and animals are placed on board the arks to help keep some sort of normalcy. The rest of the people? Well, good luck to ya!
AS A MOVIE (IN GENERAL)
It's not a good movie. The dialog is beyond cheesy (just try to get through the final speech without cringing...I dare you), the situations are straight out of every disaster movie ever written...you'll figure almost everything out before the title card of the movie even pops on screen. If you go in expecting anything of any real substance, you will be disappointed. Don't even try to apply logic to certain situations...it will just make your hair fall out.
AS A MOVIE (DISASTER)
This is Citizen Kane. If Citizen Kane involved crushing the White House with an aircraft carrier. Roland Emmerich and the hundreds, if not thousands of people who worked on this film, have made quite possibly the definitive disaster movie. There were moments when I actually found myself squeezing the armrest because the situation and chaos was so overwhelming...I seriously was unsure if they would pull through. It was made THAT well. One touch I really appreciated was the use of miniatures at certain points. It's a small thing, but the use of miniatures instead of CGI just made certain scenes look so much more convincing. It's something that I feel has become a lost art with the advances of CGI effects. There weren't many miniatures scenes, but the ones I noticed were quite effective.
FINAL THOUGHTS
As you may be able to tell, I loved this movie. It was not perfect. I wish somebody could write a disaster movie today with half the quality script-wise of The Poseidon Adventure. There were maybe 2-3 lines in this movie that were memorable. Also, 2012 runs 2 hours 38 minutes. I understand the epic nature of the film, but there were some places where a little more tightening would have been helpful. 20 minutes taken out of the film would have been about perfect. If you want a truly good mindless popcorn film, go see 2012. You will not be disappointed. A solid A grade in my book.
Heck, after this movie, I have no idea what I want to write about next. Oh yeah I do... I found this glorious "Disaster Collector's Set" at Best Buy a while back. 4 movies for $5. You know that will be of the utmost quality. I'll review the entire set next time (which may be a while since I have to get around to watching 4 movies). Thanks for reading.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tornado! (1996)
Now, one could say that Tornado! is just a made for tv cash in movie, trying to piggyback on the success of the box office smash Twister. And largely, you'd be correct. Tornado! (it's important to keep the exclamation point in there) came out the same year as Twister, shares several plot points with Twister, but does diverge in one key aspect. It is nowhere near as fun a movie as Twister is.
THE PLOT
Jake Thorne (interestingly misspelled without the E on the case), played by Bruce Campbell (now I should just stop there and declare the movie amazing, but I must continue) is a stormchaser living in northern Texas on a farm. Dr. Branson, played by Ernie Hudson, is a meteorologist from Missouri who has come to Texas to get Jake's help finding storms for his machine that is supposed to help detect tornadoes earlier (just like Dorothy in Twister). Samantha Callen (Shannon Sturges) is an auditor from Washington D.C. who has come to shut off the funding the government has been giving Dr. Branson for six years (despite no results).
Basically what unfolds is a bland and watered down version of Twister. Jake and Samantha kinda get to like each other. Hotshot TV meteorologist Richie (Jake's lifelong rival) tries to horn in on Samantha by showing her his shiny studio and his perfect hair. (Sounds like the Cary Elwes character in Twister). Dr. Branson's machine P.A.T.T.I. - the Portable Analyzer of Technical Tornado Information... which I deem the worst acronym EVER - needs to be placed directly in the path of a tornado, but they never quite make it... until the very last storm (sound familiar?).
Jake and his crew rely a lot on computers to try and tell them where a storm is going to hit, and throughout the movie they never quite make it. It takes the cornball wisdom of random cranky old guy (possibly Jake's dad? It's never made clear in the movie) Ephram to tell them where the storms are going to hit. Fortunately for everybody, one ends up right on their doorstep. And everyone lives happily ever after (except Ephram, but we'll get to that later).
THE DISASTERS
There are only three actual storms, and one false alarm in this movie. The first tornado is never seen on screen, and takes place before the opening credits. The second storm scene is a false alarm. The third storm is called a monster storm several times, and is the first time we ever see a tornado on the ground. I have to state right here that I understand tv movies have small budgets. But there is a difference between the look of a tornado, and an ink stain made by a leaking Sharpie... and the tornadoes in this movie look way more like the latter. If the third storm was a monster, then the fourth and final storm was Godzilla standing on top of the Cloverfield Monster. It's a massive storm that bears down right on the Thorne ranch.
So we have 3 tornadoes in just under 90 minutes. Or one every 30 minutes. There is a lot of down time in this movie.
DAMAGE REPORT
Only 3 storms, but a fair amount of damage is shown.
The first storm again, happens almost immediately as the movie starts. It's short, but it all but levels a house. The people inside are all safe, because they went to their basement in a quick manner (I'll say more on this later).
The second tornado we see at first does no damage. Unfortunately, it takes an unexpected turn, and absolutely levels the town of Roseville, Texas (which seems to have not existed since the school closed in 1950, and is on the wrong end of the state from where the movie takes place). They bring you into the town, and show a lot of the destruction caused by the storm. It's a very believable scene, although it is almost identical to the scene in Twister that takes place in Wakita, Oklahoma after that town gets leveled.
The third storm only actually flips over a truck and knocks down an old rickety barn (as far as we see). Despite being three times the size of the last one. It does, however, lead to THE ONLY DEATH IN THE MOVIE. Ephram, the weird old guy, does not believe computers can help at all in finding storms. Yet, when P.A.T.T.I.'s fourth leg (predictably) fails to deploy, leaving it unstable, it is Ephram who stays out, and drives a stake into the ground just far enough before he is whisked up into the storm (offscreen).
BIGGEST LEAP OF FAITH THE MOVIE ASKS US TO MAKE
During the final storm, the wind is enough to knock down a building, yet Dr. Branson's floppy hat stays on until Jake comes and pulls him into the storm shelter.
FINAL THOUGHTS
It's just not a good movie. There is thankfully, a lack of science in this movie. Unlike Twister which made up a bunch of stuff that isn't true... the few times anything scientific is brought up it sounds like it came straight out of a textbook. While not interesting, at least it's mostly right. Except for one glaring example. During the final storm the tornado has a completely silent core that allows everyone to stand around and talk for about a minute before running for cover. It's the most unintentionally hilarious scene in the movie. But the dialog is clunky, the relationships are barely believable, and the special effects are just flat out hideous.
I was hoping, with Bruce Campbell involved, to see at least a fun movie, but it's just lifeless. I can't really recommend Tornado! especially when compared to Twister.
Next time will likely be tomorrow. The disaster movie of all disaster movies comes out tomorrow, and I will be there with bells on (not really, that would be distracting). Tomorrow night though, I should have a review of 2012. See you later.
THE PLOT
Jake Thorne (interestingly misspelled without the E on the case), played by Bruce Campbell (now I should just stop there and declare the movie amazing, but I must continue) is a stormchaser living in northern Texas on a farm. Dr. Branson, played by Ernie Hudson, is a meteorologist from Missouri who has come to Texas to get Jake's help finding storms for his machine that is supposed to help detect tornadoes earlier (just like Dorothy in Twister). Samantha Callen (Shannon Sturges) is an auditor from Washington D.C. who has come to shut off the funding the government has been giving Dr. Branson for six years (despite no results).
Basically what unfolds is a bland and watered down version of Twister. Jake and Samantha kinda get to like each other. Hotshot TV meteorologist Richie (Jake's lifelong rival) tries to horn in on Samantha by showing her his shiny studio and his perfect hair. (Sounds like the Cary Elwes character in Twister). Dr. Branson's machine P.A.T.T.I. - the Portable Analyzer of Technical Tornado Information... which I deem the worst acronym EVER - needs to be placed directly in the path of a tornado, but they never quite make it... until the very last storm (sound familiar?).
Jake and his crew rely a lot on computers to try and tell them where a storm is going to hit, and throughout the movie they never quite make it. It takes the cornball wisdom of random cranky old guy (possibly Jake's dad? It's never made clear in the movie) Ephram to tell them where the storms are going to hit. Fortunately for everybody, one ends up right on their doorstep. And everyone lives happily ever after (except Ephram, but we'll get to that later).
THE DISASTERS
There are only three actual storms, and one false alarm in this movie. The first tornado is never seen on screen, and takes place before the opening credits. The second storm scene is a false alarm. The third storm is called a monster storm several times, and is the first time we ever see a tornado on the ground. I have to state right here that I understand tv movies have small budgets. But there is a difference between the look of a tornado, and an ink stain made by a leaking Sharpie... and the tornadoes in this movie look way more like the latter. If the third storm was a monster, then the fourth and final storm was Godzilla standing on top of the Cloverfield Monster. It's a massive storm that bears down right on the Thorne ranch.
So we have 3 tornadoes in just under 90 minutes. Or one every 30 minutes. There is a lot of down time in this movie.
DAMAGE REPORT
Only 3 storms, but a fair amount of damage is shown.
The first storm again, happens almost immediately as the movie starts. It's short, but it all but levels a house. The people inside are all safe, because they went to their basement in a quick manner (I'll say more on this later).
The second tornado we see at first does no damage. Unfortunately, it takes an unexpected turn, and absolutely levels the town of Roseville, Texas (which seems to have not existed since the school closed in 1950, and is on the wrong end of the state from where the movie takes place). They bring you into the town, and show a lot of the destruction caused by the storm. It's a very believable scene, although it is almost identical to the scene in Twister that takes place in Wakita, Oklahoma after that town gets leveled.
The third storm only actually flips over a truck and knocks down an old rickety barn (as far as we see). Despite being three times the size of the last one. It does, however, lead to THE ONLY DEATH IN THE MOVIE. Ephram, the weird old guy, does not believe computers can help at all in finding storms. Yet, when P.A.T.T.I.'s fourth leg (predictably) fails to deploy, leaving it unstable, it is Ephram who stays out, and drives a stake into the ground just far enough before he is whisked up into the storm (offscreen).
BIGGEST LEAP OF FAITH THE MOVIE ASKS US TO MAKE
During the final storm, the wind is enough to knock down a building, yet Dr. Branson's floppy hat stays on until Jake comes and pulls him into the storm shelter.
FINAL THOUGHTS
It's just not a good movie. There is thankfully, a lack of science in this movie. Unlike Twister which made up a bunch of stuff that isn't true... the few times anything scientific is brought up it sounds like it came straight out of a textbook. While not interesting, at least it's mostly right. Except for one glaring example. During the final storm the tornado has a completely silent core that allows everyone to stand around and talk for about a minute before running for cover. It's the most unintentionally hilarious scene in the movie. But the dialog is clunky, the relationships are barely believable, and the special effects are just flat out hideous.
I was hoping, with Bruce Campbell involved, to see at least a fun movie, but it's just lifeless. I can't really recommend Tornado! especially when compared to Twister.
Next time will likely be tomorrow. The disaster movie of all disaster movies comes out tomorrow, and I will be there with bells on (not really, that would be distracting). Tomorrow night though, I should have a review of 2012. See you later.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (2009)
This will be a quick post. As Cloudy isn't really a disaster movie, but it did have one scene I felt was worth discussing here.
THE PLOT
Flint Lockwood is an inventor, has been his entire life. Most of his inventions have failed miserably (see: ratbirds). However, he finally comes up with a winner. A machine that turns water into food (he lives on an island that survives only on sardines). Of course, the machine eventually goes crazy, and it's Flint's job to destroy the one thing he's made that has truly ever worked.
THE DISASTER
In reality there's a 10 minutes scene that is a true send-up of all disaster movies. First off, Flint's machine sprouts a gigantic spaghetti tornado that begins destroying the entire island. As if a 200 foot tall tornado made of spaghetti wasn't bad enough... it begins throwing "Meateors" yes, gigantic meatball meteors begin pummeling houses and cars, and pretty much anything else around. No people though, since it is a kid's movie (although at my showing, kids were getting a bit scared at this time).
At this point, the true send up begins. A news reporter comes on screen, saying that this disaster is spreading to all the world's major monuments...followed by everything else. Because, disaster movies always like to take aim at those major monuments. Very clever nod to the genre I felt. Anyway, the next two scenes show Times Square getting decimated by giant bagels, and the Eiffel Tower getting skewered by a gigantic BLT sandwich. With a huge olive to top it off, of course.
As if a giant spaghetti tornado, meatball meteors, big bagels, and huge hoagies weren't enough. There's one more disaster. The city has built a dam to warehouse all the excess food that falls on the ground when Flint uses his machine. Well, of course, the dam bursts, and threatens what little is left of Chew and Swallow (formerly Swallow Falls). At this point, the residents all have to make makeshift boats, and escape from the island...lest they be engulfed in a tidal wave of bananas.
THE DAMAGE REPORT
A lot of stuff gets blowed up real good. Houses get flattened, cars get destroyed, you even see buildings in Times Square get turned into rubble. There's a lot of damage done in a very short amount of time. I will reiterate that the movie does get rather intense for a few minutes during this time. And there are scenes that may actually scare younger children.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I surprisingly enjoyed this movie quite a bit. It's not too dumb for adults, and the action scenes are quite good. If you haven't seen it in theaters yet, I would say go for it. 3D isn't necessary (I did see it in 3D, and it was nice, but didn't really add a ton to the experience).
Next time, I'm continuing with the tornado motif with a movie called... Tornado! Made the same year as Twister, this looks like a cheap cash-in except for one thing. Bruce Campbell is in it. So it has to be awesome. Oh yeah, almost forgot, Bruce is the mayor in Cloudy as well. So it has that going for it as well!
Until next time...
THE PLOT
Flint Lockwood is an inventor, has been his entire life. Most of his inventions have failed miserably (see: ratbirds). However, he finally comes up with a winner. A machine that turns water into food (he lives on an island that survives only on sardines). Of course, the machine eventually goes crazy, and it's Flint's job to destroy the one thing he's made that has truly ever worked.
THE DISASTER
In reality there's a 10 minutes scene that is a true send-up of all disaster movies. First off, Flint's machine sprouts a gigantic spaghetti tornado that begins destroying the entire island. As if a 200 foot tall tornado made of spaghetti wasn't bad enough... it begins throwing "Meateors" yes, gigantic meatball meteors begin pummeling houses and cars, and pretty much anything else around. No people though, since it is a kid's movie (although at my showing, kids were getting a bit scared at this time).
At this point, the true send up begins. A news reporter comes on screen, saying that this disaster is spreading to all the world's major monuments...followed by everything else. Because, disaster movies always like to take aim at those major monuments. Very clever nod to the genre I felt. Anyway, the next two scenes show Times Square getting decimated by giant bagels, and the Eiffel Tower getting skewered by a gigantic BLT sandwich. With a huge olive to top it off, of course.
As if a giant spaghetti tornado, meatball meteors, big bagels, and huge hoagies weren't enough. There's one more disaster. The city has built a dam to warehouse all the excess food that falls on the ground when Flint uses his machine. Well, of course, the dam bursts, and threatens what little is left of Chew and Swallow (formerly Swallow Falls). At this point, the residents all have to make makeshift boats, and escape from the island...lest they be engulfed in a tidal wave of bananas.
THE DAMAGE REPORT
A lot of stuff gets blowed up real good. Houses get flattened, cars get destroyed, you even see buildings in Times Square get turned into rubble. There's a lot of damage done in a very short amount of time. I will reiterate that the movie does get rather intense for a few minutes during this time. And there are scenes that may actually scare younger children.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I surprisingly enjoyed this movie quite a bit. It's not too dumb for adults, and the action scenes are quite good. If you haven't seen it in theaters yet, I would say go for it. 3D isn't necessary (I did see it in 3D, and it was nice, but didn't really add a ton to the experience).
Next time, I'm continuing with the tornado motif with a movie called... Tornado! Made the same year as Twister, this looks like a cheap cash-in except for one thing. Bruce Campbell is in it. So it has to be awesome. Oh yeah, almost forgot, Bruce is the mayor in Cloudy as well. So it has that going for it as well!
Until next time...
Friday, September 25, 2009
Twister (1996)
Coming off the runaway blockbuster Speed (see what I did there?). Director Jan de Bont came back with the CGI-effect heavy disaster movie Twister. With a paltry (by today's standards) $94 million budget, Twister ended up making nearly $250 million in theaters, making it the second highest grossing movie of the year behind Independence Day. Now, my question is this: Does Twister hold up as a movie better than ID4 does? Because, let's face facts. No matter how awesome we all thought ID4 was...it's awfully cheesy today.
THE PLOT
Former stormchaser Bill Harding is moving on with his life. He has retired from stormchasing, and is becoming a weatherman. He has met a reproductive therapist named Melissa, and they are heading off to their new life. There's just one problem. Jo (Helen Hunt). Jo has given her life to chasing tornadoes, because as a child (as we see in the first scene of the movie), Jo's father is killed in a giant tornado while trying to close the door of their storm cellar. And Jo wants to make sure no other children have to live through that kind of terror. Bill's ex-wife who has never gotten around to signing those pesky papers, seemingly because she is too busy with her job. So, wouldn't you know it? Jo's practically got pen to paper when duty calls, and a storm needs to be chased!
You know where it goes from here. Through a series of close calls, and the realization of years of research, Bill falls back in love with stormchasing...and eventually with Jo. Surprisingly, Melissa is fine with all this (it must have been the being nearly killed 25 times in the matter of an hour).
Ah, but that's not all. There's also Jonas (played with one of the worst fake-Southern accents ever by Cary Elwes). The hot shot, in it for the money, super slick stormchaser who has stolen Bill's technology, and wants to beat him to the punch so he can get fame and glory (and maybe a vocal coach). To take the bad guy metaphor even further, their entire caravan of vans and trucks are jet black. We'll get back what happens to Westley, I mean, Jonas...later.
THE DISASTERS
There are six main tornado chase scenes in the movie, and the opening flashback storm. Meaning in a just under 120 minute movie, there's a tornado on screen on average every 17 minutes. This makes for a very action packed movie, and the time literally flies by (see what I did there?).
It's almost impossible to discuss this movie without noticing how many nods and winks there are to the Wizard of Oz. From the opening scene involving a storm cellar, to the name of the tornado tracking device "Dorothy", to a Judy Garland movie even being on a TV at one point. There are probably more I am missing, but that's a fair start. It's obvious that Oz played at least some role of inspiration to the making of this film.
DAMAGE REPORT
Seven main scenes of destruction to discuss.
The first flashback storm mainly shows Jo's father getting sucked out of the storm cellar. There is an important lesson to learn here though. Jo's father goes back to the door because he is worried that the storm is going to throw it open. However, Jo and her mother both easily survive the storm...even though the door is wide open, and the father is whisked away. So, lesson learned?
The second tornado scene ends up with Jo's truck getting thrown from a 5-6 foot deep ditch up into the air, and on the road a couple hundred feet backwards. Bill and Jo survive this storm under a rickety old bridge. They're muddy, but ok.
The third tornado scene is when we get one of Twister's most iconic moments. Yes, this is when we get the famous flying cow! Apart from this there is some big debris, and Bill and Jo's truck gets caught in between "sister twisters" and they get spun around a few times. Fun scene, don't know how realistic it is.
The fourth storm has a nice hailstorm involved. And they get pretty darn close to the storm, but sadly the storm suddenly dissipates.
The fifth tornado is probably the scene with the best urban legend. This is the drive-in scene. When, while watching The Shining a tornado gobbles up the entire drive in. The urban legend is that while showing Twister, a drive-in was actually damaged when a real tornado came through. A version I once heard claimed it happened during this exact scene. Sadly, as shown in this Snopes article http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/twister.asp . It just didn't happen. Great story though.
The sixth tornado we actually don't see, but it's the one that causes the most damage. As it is a direct hit on Wakita, Oklahoma. Where Jo's Aunt Meg lives. Her house is nearly destroyed, many houses in the town are obliterated.
And finally, we get "The Big One" the final chase is against a tornado nearly one mile wide. Very similar to the storm that Jo's father was killed in (if we needed it beat into our heads any more that's her motivation for this entire career path). Our heroes first get into trouble when a giant tree gets stuck under their pickup. Fortunately, a very courteous flying tanker truck smashes into their pick up truck, freeing them, before exploding just down the road. And the tanker was also very nice when it allowed Bill and Jo to drive through the fireball unscathed. Don't you love polite explosions like that?
Then out of nowhere Jonas comes back (he's been gone for the better part of the last hour of movie). And of course, Jonas doesn't listen to Bill and Jo's warning...which leads to THE BEST DEATH SCENE IN THE MOVIE. Jonas' van gets too close to the twister, and a 20 foot long piece of radio tower impales Jonas' driver straight through the face and upper chest. Killing him instantly. Just seconds later, Jonas' van is picked up, thrown, and it goes boom. Ending the Jonas storyline.
After driving through a rolling house (yeah, you heard me), Bill (why did they name the character Bill, if the actor is named Bill? Why not make her Helen while they are at it? Anyway...) and Jo make it to a farm, and are trying to find some safe haven. After a comedic scene where they enter a barn full of very sharp tools, they strap themselves to a pipe...using leather belts. They are then witness to the most amazing sight of their lives as they go right through the center of a tornado.
BIGGEST LEAP OF FAITH THE MOVIE ASKS UP TO MAKE
OK, assuming they can outrun a tornado, and assuming that a leather belt is strong enough to hold 150-200 pound people, AND that belt is strong enough to withstand 175+ MPH winds... just how in the world did these two people not get hit by one single piece of flying debris from this storm? The pipe they attached to was inside an old wooden barn! They should look like human cacti at the end of this storm. But nope, they are just fine.
THE CALM AFTER THE STORM
So, how does it hold up? Looking at is as a movie... surprisingly well actually. The computer effects are primitive by today's standards, but they are competent. The script is fine (having Michael Crichton on board to help write undoubtedly helped). As a disaster film, there are a lot of twisters, always a good thing. Plenty of chaos, a lot of stuff flying around (excellent), but you don't really see the widespread destruction (save for the drive-in and Wakita scenes) that other disaster movies show. Still, for the disaster junkie. Plenty of stuff breaks, and that's just flat out awesome. Overall, Twister is an extremely enjoyable movie. It definitely holds up better than ID4, and will likely be seen as a classic in the disaster genre for years to come.
Well, that felt good. Glad to be back on the saddle. Next time, I plan to talk about a movie I just saw today that, on the surface, doesn't seem like it's a disaster movie. However, it has one scene that absolutely warrants it's entry here. I'll try and make it a spoiler-free review, since many people may not have seen it yet. We'll talk Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs in just a few days.
THE PLOT
Former stormchaser Bill Harding is moving on with his life. He has retired from stormchasing, and is becoming a weatherman. He has met a reproductive therapist named Melissa, and they are heading off to their new life. There's just one problem. Jo (Helen Hunt). Jo has given her life to chasing tornadoes, because as a child (as we see in the first scene of the movie), Jo's father is killed in a giant tornado while trying to close the door of their storm cellar. And Jo wants to make sure no other children have to live through that kind of terror. Bill's ex-wife who has never gotten around to signing those pesky papers, seemingly because she is too busy with her job. So, wouldn't you know it? Jo's practically got pen to paper when duty calls, and a storm needs to be chased!
You know where it goes from here. Through a series of close calls, and the realization of years of research, Bill falls back in love with stormchasing...and eventually with Jo. Surprisingly, Melissa is fine with all this (it must have been the being nearly killed 25 times in the matter of an hour).
Ah, but that's not all. There's also Jonas (played with one of the worst fake-Southern accents ever by Cary Elwes). The hot shot, in it for the money, super slick stormchaser who has stolen Bill's technology, and wants to beat him to the punch so he can get fame and glory (and maybe a vocal coach). To take the bad guy metaphor even further, their entire caravan of vans and trucks are jet black. We'll get back what happens to Westley, I mean, Jonas...later.
THE DISASTERS
There are six main tornado chase scenes in the movie, and the opening flashback storm. Meaning in a just under 120 minute movie, there's a tornado on screen on average every 17 minutes. This makes for a very action packed movie, and the time literally flies by (see what I did there?).
It's almost impossible to discuss this movie without noticing how many nods and winks there are to the Wizard of Oz. From the opening scene involving a storm cellar, to the name of the tornado tracking device "Dorothy", to a Judy Garland movie even being on a TV at one point. There are probably more I am missing, but that's a fair start. It's obvious that Oz played at least some role of inspiration to the making of this film.
DAMAGE REPORT
Seven main scenes of destruction to discuss.
The first flashback storm mainly shows Jo's father getting sucked out of the storm cellar. There is an important lesson to learn here though. Jo's father goes back to the door because he is worried that the storm is going to throw it open. However, Jo and her mother both easily survive the storm...even though the door is wide open, and the father is whisked away. So, lesson learned?
The second tornado scene ends up with Jo's truck getting thrown from a 5-6 foot deep ditch up into the air, and on the road a couple hundred feet backwards. Bill and Jo survive this storm under a rickety old bridge. They're muddy, but ok.
The third tornado scene is when we get one of Twister's most iconic moments. Yes, this is when we get the famous flying cow! Apart from this there is some big debris, and Bill and Jo's truck gets caught in between "sister twisters" and they get spun around a few times. Fun scene, don't know how realistic it is.
The fourth storm has a nice hailstorm involved. And they get pretty darn close to the storm, but sadly the storm suddenly dissipates.
The fifth tornado is probably the scene with the best urban legend. This is the drive-in scene. When, while watching The Shining a tornado gobbles up the entire drive in. The urban legend is that while showing Twister, a drive-in was actually damaged when a real tornado came through. A version I once heard claimed it happened during this exact scene. Sadly, as shown in this Snopes article http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/twister.asp . It just didn't happen. Great story though.
The sixth tornado we actually don't see, but it's the one that causes the most damage. As it is a direct hit on Wakita, Oklahoma. Where Jo's Aunt Meg lives. Her house is nearly destroyed, many houses in the town are obliterated.
And finally, we get "The Big One" the final chase is against a tornado nearly one mile wide. Very similar to the storm that Jo's father was killed in (if we needed it beat into our heads any more that's her motivation for this entire career path). Our heroes first get into trouble when a giant tree gets stuck under their pickup. Fortunately, a very courteous flying tanker truck smashes into their pick up truck, freeing them, before exploding just down the road. And the tanker was also very nice when it allowed Bill and Jo to drive through the fireball unscathed. Don't you love polite explosions like that?
Then out of nowhere Jonas comes back (he's been gone for the better part of the last hour of movie). And of course, Jonas doesn't listen to Bill and Jo's warning...which leads to THE BEST DEATH SCENE IN THE MOVIE. Jonas' van gets too close to the twister, and a 20 foot long piece of radio tower impales Jonas' driver straight through the face and upper chest. Killing him instantly. Just seconds later, Jonas' van is picked up, thrown, and it goes boom. Ending the Jonas storyline.
After driving through a rolling house (yeah, you heard me), Bill (why did they name the character Bill, if the actor is named Bill? Why not make her Helen while they are at it? Anyway...) and Jo make it to a farm, and are trying to find some safe haven. After a comedic scene where they enter a barn full of very sharp tools, they strap themselves to a pipe...using leather belts. They are then witness to the most amazing sight of their lives as they go right through the center of a tornado.
BIGGEST LEAP OF FAITH THE MOVIE ASKS UP TO MAKE
OK, assuming they can outrun a tornado, and assuming that a leather belt is strong enough to hold 150-200 pound people, AND that belt is strong enough to withstand 175+ MPH winds... just how in the world did these two people not get hit by one single piece of flying debris from this storm? The pipe they attached to was inside an old wooden barn! They should look like human cacti at the end of this storm. But nope, they are just fine.
THE CALM AFTER THE STORM
So, how does it hold up? Looking at is as a movie... surprisingly well actually. The computer effects are primitive by today's standards, but they are competent. The script is fine (having Michael Crichton on board to help write undoubtedly helped). As a disaster film, there are a lot of twisters, always a good thing. Plenty of chaos, a lot of stuff flying around (excellent), but you don't really see the widespread destruction (save for the drive-in and Wakita scenes) that other disaster movies show. Still, for the disaster junkie. Plenty of stuff breaks, and that's just flat out awesome. Overall, Twister is an extremely enjoyable movie. It definitely holds up better than ID4, and will likely be seen as a classic in the disaster genre for years to come.
Well, that felt good. Glad to be back on the saddle. Next time, I plan to talk about a movie I just saw today that, on the surface, doesn't seem like it's a disaster movie. However, it has one scene that absolutely warrants it's entry here. I'll try and make it a spoiler-free review, since many people may not have seen it yet. We'll talk Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs in just a few days.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Shake Off the Dust...Arise
Hello, is there anybody out there? Well, in case there is. First, I'll say sorry. I've had a weird year, a lot of it has involved me pulling away from almost everything. There's a long story to it, that noone cares about. So, the basic news is that I'm starting to feel better about things, and I WILL be writing more disaster movie reviews in the near future.
I do plan on changing the format up a bit, as one of the reasons I stopped was that the last few reviews, I was not happy with. I felt like all I was doing was writing out what happened in the movies, instead of writing a review. So, hopefully, I'll change that aspect up a bit...while still throwing in a few jokes and having a good time. I hope people will read it, and I hope they'll like it.
I'm not going to keep myself on a schedule, but I will make an effort to keep reviews coming more than once a year. :) In my last post from December, I said I would review Twister. I'll keep to that. See you soon (I promise)! Also: I'm tinkering around with a couple other blog ideas surrounding a couple of my other strange hobbies...we'll see if that flies in the near future.
Thanks for sticking around.
I do plan on changing the format up a bit, as one of the reasons I stopped was that the last few reviews, I was not happy with. I felt like all I was doing was writing out what happened in the movies, instead of writing a review. So, hopefully, I'll change that aspect up a bit...while still throwing in a few jokes and having a good time. I hope people will read it, and I hope they'll like it.
I'm not going to keep myself on a schedule, but I will make an effort to keep reviews coming more than once a year. :) In my last post from December, I said I would review Twister. I'll keep to that. See you soon (I promise)! Also: I'm tinkering around with a couple other blog ideas surrounding a couple of my other strange hobbies...we'll see if that flies in the near future.
Thanks for sticking around.
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